Hard Days

Yesterday was TOUGH.  It was one of those "hard days".  Not for any particularly unique reason; I just didn't have the strength or patience to cope as well as usual.
I had decided at the beginning of the day that I would shower but not make a fuss about my appearance.  I was going to put on comfy clothes, put my hair up wet, and TACKLE the laundry and other household chores.  Well, instead of my look (which was already two steps down from my usual shorts, t-shirt, and make-up- I know, glamorous right?) degenerating in to a "pretty" frazzled state... you know, the wisps of flying hair, the face flushed with exertion, the knitted brow of a woman at her tasks...  mine sort of just fell apart.  Hair that wasn't wispy pretties, but chunks falling out of my hair band that WOULD NOT STAY.  I was frumpy and grumpy.
That would have been bearable, and generally not worth mentioning had my look not been later completed by a bloody lip.  I was sitting on the floor with the kids enjoying our daily "room time"  which is play time with Mommy in their room.  Amelia walked up and began tapping my cheek with her little wooden, yellow ball.  Before I could finish correcting her, "We don't hhh...." POP!  She whacked my lip, catching it perfectly between the ball and a tooth on the other side causing it to split open. 
I was surprisingly collected despite the pain and finished correcting her, but the weight of the day and my frumpy grumpy came rushing over me in full force just seconds later.  I sat on the floor and just CRIED.  I buried my face in my hand, holding my bloody lip and cried.  I wanted to step away from the kids and really let it all out, but not trusting that Amelia wouldn't stumble and sit on Mason's face, or worse find another ball, I didn't want to leave her alone with Mason lying unsuspecting nearby.  To top it off, she was laughing at me.  She didn't understand what I was doing, and probably thought I was giggling behind my hands, ready to pop out for peek-a-boo any minute.  But I wasn't.  I was crying.  So frustrated, tired, and completely out of patience and there she was.  Standing there laughing at me.
It was one of those "low moments" as a Mom.  You just feel like you can't get it together.  I did eventually find the strength to stand up and get a rag for my lip and take a couple of deep breaths.  I wish I could say that the day ended later in one of those magical moments where Amelia curled up in my lap or did some sweet new thing and made it all ok, but it didn't.  I did however get handsome hubby to bring home some dinner while I took an hour off and watched TV.  And, I survived.  I didn't kill me.  Here I am to live another day.
This motherhood thing is wonderful, amazing, and truly a great gift to experience.  But some days it's just HARD.