A little more passion for the King please...

I think it's fair to say that I was deeply disappointed with the Palm Sunday service this morning.  Being an idealist, I do tend to have overly high expectations.  I am especially prone to this on holidays.  I had visions of palm branches being handed out, white lilies and other spring flowers sprayed around the room, and I could practically hear the hosannas ringing out from the worshipers. 

I've spent the last week reading the Easter story with my kids from our various children's Bibles and books.  My daughter has asked to read "the donkey story" every day since we got it in the mail from Grammy.  I've been particularly moved by the Jesus Storybook Bible's recounting of the crucifixion, and though that version does not contain the Triumphal Entry, reading it grew this eagerness in me as we looked forward to Palm Sunday.  I was so excited to come to church this morning, and raucously celebrate the Kingship of Jesus. 

It was one of the few times in His physical life on earth that He was celebrated as a king.  And I wanted to be part of that today.  I wanted to relive and perhaps some how cosmically join in with saints through out history who've remembered the day that people made a "red carpet" of sorts for the King of all Kings with the coats off their backs and the leaves off the trees.  I wanted to proclaim Him as my king, as the ultimate king, and sing my heart out worshiping Him with a room full of other people who think so, too!

I stayed up late last night printing coloring pages of the Passion week events for my three-year-old to color.  We planned to keep her with us so she might experience the grandeur and perhaps wave her own palm frond for Jesus.

What I encountered this morning looked like every other Sunday morning, except there were even less people than usual in attendance.  Granted, it had snowed last night and the roads were not great.  Plus, last week was spring break so a lot of the student population is still making their way back today.   Never the less, I was disappointed to see so many empty seats.

We entered the sanctuary and I was handed the same bulletin and sermon notes as always, no palm frond.  There was no special decor denoting any celebration.  The music while well-performed was certainly not "celebratory", and not one hosanna was uttered.  There was no royal party here.

We did sing one song that was new to me, called "Kingdom and a King" by Robbie Seay, which could have been great if someone had kicked up the beat and put a little of their soul into it.   Perhaps the writer didn't intend for the song to be sung that way...  (and after seeing him play it himself on Youtube, I don't think he did), but the lyrics certainly seem to imply some fervor.

My heart is beating faster in my chest
As I sing of where my loyalties will rest
To never wait on the governments to move
As the broken and the poor cry out for You

For the Kingdom and the King
For His glory we will sing
for the rescue of our souls
He has come

For the kingdom and the cross
Oh the triumph and the loss
Love has broken through and I'm redeemed
Through the kingdom and the king

The rest of the lyrics are great, too, and reading them on the screen I wanted to stand in my chair, raise my "Sword of Truth" and shout, "FOR THE KINGDOM AND THE KING!", William Wallace style.  Surely this was what I'd been waiting for all week!  Instead, the guitars strummed lazily along and all around me everyone stood still dutifully filling melody with words.

When the music team traded places with the pastor, I sighed (dare I say with relief?) and prepared my heart to dive into the Biblical account of Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem.  Instead, we talked about Lazaraus.  Raising Lazarus from the dead.  I must have done a double take at my sermon notes, WHAT!?  The remark was made that the event "occurred near" the original Palm Sunday, and that was the last we heard of that. 

I can understand how perhaps this story would prepare people for Easter with its foreshadowing of Jesus' resurrection.  Jesus looks right at Lazarus' sister, Mary, and asks her "Do you believe this?" after describing the life He offers us.  It's good stuff.  Really.  But it's not Palm Sunday.  Maybe they were trying to do something different this year, mix it up a little, but for me it was disappointing.

You see, I have no problem with tradition.  I don't get bored doing the same celebrations every year.  In fact, I suspect that maintaining traditions is even Biblical.  God laid out all sorts of feasts and celebrations for the Jews to celebrate so they might remember what He had done for them.  And if you think God doesn't have an eye for detail, I charge you to go look up His work orders for the Tabernacle.

Like I said, I'm an idealist, but I'm not convinced that's entirely a bad thing.  I have a capacity, a gift if you will, to see things as they could be.  My heart has Eden written all through it and aches for God to restore the world to its original beauty and glory. 

If we really believe we are a part of Christ's Kingdom, then how is today not a day set aside for a royal celebration!?  We should mark this day with flowers, palm fronds, candles, and other symbolic elements of beauty.  We should dress for the occasion.  We should choose songs to sing that are full of joy, praise, and hallelujahs!  Not out of duty, but out of hearts full of gratitude!

Sometimes I can see so clearly some of what is ailing the modern day church.  It is uninspiring and lacks heart.  During the sermon, the pastor came to the part of the story where Jesus calls loudly for Lazarus to come out of the tomb.  He jokingly promised to spare us the "calling loudly" part.  Why?  Was he afraid he might actually wake us up?  I'm sure when it happened, the loud voice of Jesus had some impact.  Why should we scale back the retelling? 

We do this far too often.  We have so down played the accounts of the gospels, that our impression of Jesus has become soft, gentle, and reserved.  Personally, I don't need a soft, genteel person to come tell me a bunch of rules on how to live a better life.  What I do need is a God-Man full of life and passion, who cares so deeply about me He was willing to experience excruciating pain on every level to spare me from the eternity of excruciating pain that my sin deserves.  A God-Man who explains to me in His Word how He intended for life to be lived and shares His plans for how we can live life now while we wait for Him to put everything back to the way it belongs.

The argument has been made that it's more "relevant" to the unchurched person who didn't grow up with these traditions.  I think that's a load of crock, too.  I'm sorry, but if we are just like the rest of the world, then why on earth would they want to join us?  What are we really offering besides another program to try?

I think we desperately need to see, and HEAR, a little more heart on Sunday mornings.  We need celebration.  We need beauty and tradition.  We need to show that we really believe we are part of a kingdom.  Our King deserves better than this.  It is PASSION week after all.

Getting healthy

Today the hubster and I are on day 10 of a 15 day "reboot".  About 2 months ago I watched the movie, "Fat Sick & Nearly Dead".  I had seen a handful of friends post about it, and a few others actually begin to make their own juices.  After watching the movie, I was determined to try juicing myself.  I've kept more baby weight than I would like, and I love the idea of hitting a reset button so to speak for my body; cleaning things up so I can function better.

I found a Breville juicer on craigslist for HALF of its retail value, and used some birthday money to buy it.  After a few weeks of trying to get hubby's schedule to line up with mine, we finally found a 15 day window to try our reboot.  In the mean time, I tried a few of the bottled juices by Naked from the store.  They were good, so that gave me a bit more confidence going in to this.

We're following the plan outlined by Kelly at No Sugar Sweet Life.  She's a Christian momma from Colorado with a toddler!  Couldn't be more of a better fit for me.  She had great tips on juicing on a budget, being busy, and having to feed your little person, too.  You can find her posts about the reboot HERE under "How do you get started?".

Some of you have asked what juices we've tried, so here's the list.  All of these recipes are from No Sugar Sweet Life's blog, so hit her up and show her some love!

• Carbeeple
• Cucumber Melon
• Homemade V8 (we thought this one was pretty gross... it would more than likely be ok if you didn't add the onion)
• Mean Green (my hubby's favorite and my #2)
• Pink Kale Juice
• Sunset Juice
• Green Energy (recipe on reboot list, phase 2, my FAVORITE!)
• Sweet N Tart Citrus (good but TOO tart for me... also on reboot part 2)

We've also tried two tomato based juices from my juicer manual that were pretty good!

We don't have a scale, so neither of us knows how much we've lost weight-wise, but we can definitely tell that we've each lost a little. My jeans are looser for one thing, and I can feel my sit bones in the chair again.  Also, we both have more energy, and moving actually feels good!  The hubby has lost about an 1 1/2" off his waist.

If we were not heading to Colorado for the Thanskgiving holiday, I would be tempted to extend this juice-only phase a little longer.  Although I am not going to lie, I am SO ready to crunch on something!  (We treated ourselves to hummus w/ carrot sticks, celery, and snap peas during the football game and it was SO SO SO good to EAT.) 

I also noticed (while checking the kid's dinner for temperature for example), that other foods have more flavor now.  EVERYTHING is saltier, milk is richer, and over all fruit is sweeter.  I'm anxious to see how things taste once we're actually done with the 15 days.

I definitely plan to keep juicing regularly, at least a couple of times per week.  I also want to overhaul our regular diet to include more vegetables and smaller portions (and kale... I'm starting to really like it!  Who knew?).  I've always been a pretty healthy eater, but I'm excited to make more changes.  I've been so pleased with the benefits from the past few days (the increase in energy and weight loss) that I'd be silly not to keep it up!  I just feels GOOD!

Let me know if you have other questions.  I hope you'll watch the movie, it's streaming on Netflix, and try making some juices yourself!  You can find more information and TONS of other recipes at: www.jointhereboot.com

50 Years of Memories

This summer, both of my parents turn 50 years old.  (Sorry for spilling your age Mom!)  Their birthdays are just two weeks apart, so this has always made for the perfect opportunity to celebrate them together.   My parents have recently made yet another state-to-state move, and with my youngest siblings graduated from highschool now, they are embarking on some major transition.  I wanted to take the opportunity provided by this "big" birthday to remind them what a major impact they've had through out all the many, many transitions and changes they've overcome in the past 50 years.  I came across this fantastic idea on Pinterest, and took it and made it my own.

In mid-May I set out to contact as many people as I could.   Since it was a surprise, I could hardly ask my mom for all of these addresses out of the blue, so I spent a few hours cruising facebook and whitepages.com.  (Stalker mode: activated!)  I commissioned my sister to sneak into my mom's address book and email account to get more contacts for me.

Then, I sent out an email and a few letters asking people to contribute a memory they had of my parents in the past 50 years.  It could be anything they liked.  The range of responses was fantastic.  I received some hand-written, some typed, but mostly emails.  There were one-liners, narrative paragraphs, snapshot style memories, pages of the impact and impressions they left, or the lessons they had shared along the way.

I took each of the contributions and divided them into 100 envelopes, 50 for my mom and 50 for my dad.  

In the first envelope I placed the following letter:

Mom and Dad,

            You hold in your hands 50 envelopes; what I am calling “50 Years of Memories”.  I have asked as many friends and family members as I could contact without arousing suspicion to write a memory, an anecdote, or an impression you left on them in the past 50 years.  I have responses that range from your births to this past year.

I can’t tell you what a joy it has been to work on this project for you.  It has been a privilege to hear what people think of you and how you shaped their lives.  It has deepened my gratitude to have you as my parents and grown my understanding of who you are as individuals.  I have cried and laughed out loud over the range of responses.  I can’t wait for you to read them!
           

I hope this gift will be a blessing to you.  I hope that it will remind you how much you are loved, how much of an impact you’ve had, and what a treasure you are.  I love you so very much.

With all my heart,
Autumn

Proverbs 31:28

{Their} children arise and call {them} blessed

 (substitutions mine)

I ordered embellishments for the envelopes, decorated them up a bit, stacked them neatly, and sent them off.

Unfortunately, they did not get to open their packages together.   The decorations I ordered for the envelopes took longer than planned to arrive, and I had a few last minute additions.  I was not able to mail them before my mom headed off on a trip, but I was able to get them in their hands before she actually left the country.

I Skyped with each of them separately while they opened them, and they were very touched.  Mom cried of course!  (A sure sign of success amoung the women in our family.)

It really was such a joy to do this.  I loved getting to read stories from their childhoods and hearing other accounts I never would have heard other-wise.  It also taught me that sometimes the moments you share with others leave a far greater impact on their lives, and consequently the lives of their children sometimes, than you may ever realize.

In this crazy, technology saturated world, I hope my little project encourages you to take part in encouraging someone with your written words.  Let somebody know how much they mean to you, how they impacted you, or remind them of a great memory you have together.  The 50 text messages you sent in the past hour will fade away, but the impact you have on another person can last for generations.

"Not Same"

Lately I’ve been feeling “not same”.

    I began teaching my daughter sign language when she was 6 months old.  One of the words she learned later on is “same”.  You stick up your pointer fingers, as if pointing with each hand, and bring them both together so that your fingers touch.  “SAME”.   She is very good at this concept.  She points to the clock in a book then the clock on her wall and says, “Mommy!  Same!”.   When we learned colors she figured out that some things are “not same”.  Yellow pipe cleaner, pink hole.  Not same.

   This week I have been feeling “not same”.  I know in life there are lots of “preferences” that aren’t worth splitting hairs over.   Our pastor eloquently described these as “things written in pencil”, not things written “in blood”.  You split hairs and nations sometimes, over things in blood.  The things that make me “me”, are sometimes blood things, sometimes ink things, and sometimes pencil things.  I feel fairly supported on the blood things and a few of the written in pen things, but it is nice to feel that you have some of these pencil things in common with others, too.

   You see, I am a sorta crunchy but not quite hippy-dippy mama.  We plan to homeschool.  I breastfeed, sometimes cloth diaper (I did say “sorta”), prefer wooden toys that don’t flash, and like vegetables.  A lot.  We’re a poor, hubby-back-in-school-and-mommy-stays-home sort of family so I don’t get to do a lot of things I would like to do; like plant a garden in my 2-5 acres of land, buy organic meats, or keep chickens.  But my heart is there.

   I also like quiet.  I like simple.  My big dreams center on my family unit and enriching our lives together.  I see bigness in small things.  I don’t need rallies, causes, or marches on anything.  I need relationships.  I need one-on-one heart to hearts.  I need the freedom that comes from passing wisdom to another in a wrapping of love and understanding that comes from knowing.  I would rather sit and talk with a scared, young, pregnant mom than march on an abortion clinic.  I would rather share what little I have with a needy friend than run a food drive.  I shy away from sweeping, all-inclusive, lack of personal details things.

   Now, don’t misunderstand.  I know that causes and drives and marches have their place.  This world needs all types, and that includes the people who do “big”.  Lord knows there is a lot of hurt out there and it takes a lot of effort to address it even just a little.  But it also takes those of us who do “small”.

   Lately in my world I seem to be surrounded by people who think big, do big.  A. Lot.  I am overwhelmed by that.  Sometimes it makes me feel foolish in my smallness.  As if I am not doing enough, or being enough.  I feel that I have to measure up, do more to matter.  And other times I feel that I need to cry out to them not to forget the small things; that they are missing their very own lives in the midst of doing all this bigness.  I am “not same”. 

   Lately I am finding it hard to get time with other hearts like mine who sympathize.  I don't quite fit in here in this college town.  I feel old-fashioned and out of date.  I hate neon, the 80’s, wide-rimmed glasses, skinny jeans on men, and pretty much a lot of things in vogue right now.  I am also too “worldly” for the "other crowd" with my occasional glasses of wine and cuss words in some of my movies.  I hate the idea of so much structure and programming we lose Jesus, and simultaneously struggle with so much "coffee-house Jesus" we lose His holiness and dangerous wildness.  I find that I often fall between two extremes.  I am neither “traditional” churchy, nor “emerging” non-churchy.  I am neither hippy-dippy vegan, nor processed everything consumer.  I do not view God as far off, observing our behavior and dealing out good and bad marks accordingly.  Nor do I view Him as only mushy, lovey and out to make me feel good about myself.  He is both too holy and completely accessible all at the same time. 

   I am a think-with-your-heart person.  I am a tea and cookies in a china cup by the window person.   I am a Bible and a candle at dawn in the quiet person.   I am a stay-at-home and nourish the hearts of my babes person.  I am a home-educator who values truth and biblical world view as much as math or the periodic table.  I believe learning happens every day all day.  I am a hymn-loving, classic music dancing-to, fine art admirer who can also kick it to a mean country banjo.  I am a traditional values, Susie-homemaker, family-centered, wine drinking, mountain climbing, “crap” saying, Bible-believing,  Song of Solomon love life enjoying woman. 

   My mother just left for a foreign country for 5 weeks, my best friend is mid-move, and my husband is an hour and a half away making money to pay the bills all week.  I am lonely.  And I am “not same”.   I guess this is just one of those times to press further in to my completely holy, whispering in my very ear Jesus.

   Anyone else feeling the “same” as my “not same” lately?

A Storm is Coming

Stepping outside, my dog pulling on her leash, I can tell a storm is coming.  Even if I hadn’t just read it the latest weather update, I would know.  Nature was telling me.  Field birds are clinging close to our apartment building chattering as if in a panic, deciding where to hunker down later for the coming rain.  They dart quickly to a small tree branch and chortle their warning, as if to give their opinion to the gathered masses before they dart back to the cover of the porches.  A brisk, sharp wind blows bending the trees.  A line of puffy white clouds marches forward to the south of us, like guards in some great street parade preceding a coming monarch.  The sun shines a bit too brightly as if to force us back inside for shelter.  Yes, a storm is coming.  

The sun shines a bit too brightly

Birds darting to and fro

Birds gathered in the grass

The safety of the porches

A Thousand Gifts

So I've decided to jump in on the "One Thousand Gifts" challenge, or "The Joy Dare" as the author is calling it this year.  I saw this last year both on a blog I follow and on facebook quips from a fabric designer I like.  It was intriguing.  I considered doing it but never followed through.  Then it popped up again tonight on Facebook under the status of a dear, long-time friend.  That was that.  I decided to jump in.
I read the blog post, read the online book reviews, read Ann Voskamp's bio, and then watched the video.

The video melted my heart.  I have known since I was about 17 that those precious, fleeting moments are God's intimate, personal gifts to me.  A first sip of coffee that is just perfect, sun beams filtering in through my curtains, the sweet sound of a violin, a sudden rain burst that was so needed in deep ways.  I have gotten busy the past few years and I've had to plow through a lot of hard things.  I've stopped looking as much.  But I have still felt those moments that are so heart-achy good you think you'll burst.  Having babies will give you lots of those kinds of moments.   Like the smell of newborns' hair, dancing silly jigs with your babe on your shoulder, and yes that first sip of coffee.  There's been lots of coffee.  Then this video brought it roaring back again that there is fullness and a sweetness I am missing out on.  It's time to look for more.
Going with my theme of being intentional this year (more to come), this seems to fit in.  Being intentionally grateful.  Seeing and focusing on the little joys all around me.  Opening my eyes and ears to God's daily gifts to me.  I have not read her book, nor have I followed this particular blogger before, but this concept speaks right to and out of my heart.

The challenge is to record 1000 things you are grateful for over the course of 2012.  She even provides you with prompts for each day of each month.  Just three things a day!  (Yes, you math whiz you, that is more than 1000 but why limit the goodness?)  Seems do-able.  Plus, I need to develop my self-discipline habits and a daily commitment that's simple and full of eternal reward seems like a good exercise for the heart.

So here we go.  Let's catch up shall we?

1.  Loyalty
2.  Tender-heartedness
3.  Passion
4.  Canadian geese in V-formation bursting over the rooftop just as I look up
5.  Soft, cushy pillows
6.  Much needed new "daily-use" dishes, and much wanted Christmas dishes
7.  My fantastic siblings
8.  Adorable new clothes given to my kids to wear
9.  The clarity and crispness of a Kansas January sky
10.  I Take Joy from my new hero, Sally Clarkson
11.  The soft, fuzzy yarn of a handmade baby gift
12.  "Cranford"
13.  Rocking my little one who doesn't feel well
14.  Budding friendships
15.  Affirmations


I'll try for some photos to go a long with from here on out, ok? 

A day in the life

About a month ago, a dear friend of mine asked me to write this post.  Having two little ones close in age comes with lots of challenges, and being in a position to soon experience this herself, she wanted to know what an average day in the Shea house looks like. 

I was inspired by the series of posts HERE on Annalea Hart’s blog.  I find it so refreshing to read other mama’s daily experiences and to discover that it isn’t all roses and sunshine on the other side of their computer screen either.  I am going to give you an honest to goodness look at how things go and I won’t be sugar-coating anything.  Too my own detriment and impending horror and to your total boredom I’m sure.

My tinies are Mason, 7 months, and Amelia, 18 months, born just 11 months and 1 week apart.  My husband goes to school full-time and works part-time, so parenting duties are largely up to me.  My days are long and full and rarely ever the same despite my constant striving for routine.   The day I documented was actually about three weeks ago, but after you read it, I think you'll understand why it took me so long to sit down and actually write this.

 
That said, here’s a day in the life of little ol’ me…

6:10 AM

Mason’s insistent whimpers are about to become full-fledged “FEED ME” wails, and I drag myself out of bed to get him up for his first feeding of the day.  I bring him back to my bed for nursing and snuggles.  I love this part of the morning actually.  I never mastered side-lying nursing with Amelia, and I love being able to get back into bed to nurse.  What can I say, getting OUT of bed is not really my favorite thing.

6:35 AM

Mason is fast asleep again and I pick up his limp, sleepy body and cuddle him all the way back to his bedroom, burping him along the way.  I give him an extra squeeze and stand and rock with him beside his crib, knowing that the peace that pervades this moment will not last long.  I traipse back to my room, my shoulder still warm, and crawl back into bed for “just a few more minutes”, swearing that I WILL get up and shower today before Amelia wakes up.

7:05 AM

Ok, ok… OK!  I’ll get up.  I’m yelling at myself here, trying to convince myself it will be worth it when 10am rolls around and I’m not still trying to figure out how to squeeze in a shower.  I trudge into the bathroom and stand in the hot water a tad longer than I probably ought to, willing myself to wake up.

7:40 AM

Still no sound from the babies!   Amelia, and sometimes Mason, is usually up by 7:30am, so, this is GREAT!  I start my coffee and heave an inner sigh at the dirty, nasty stove burners left soaking in the sink from last night.  

Well, guess I should clean those puppies if we’re going to have eggs this morning.  The pile that has grown on my counter ledge glares at me while I scrub, and I make a mental note to clear it off before the day is over.  Oh yeah… and that other pile on my dresser that hasn’t been put away since I “unpacked” from our trip last week.  Can I get BOTH cleared off before bed tonight?  Challenge issued and accepted.

8:00 AM

I finish putting in the last stove burner just as Amelia wakes up.  We always start with a fresh diaper and a sippy cup of milk.  About 10 minutes later, Mason decides he’s ready to get up, too.  Amelia likes to crawl in bed with him and give him kisses first thing.  I love it!  

I get him out of bed, change him, and pop him in the swing while I finish making our breakfast.  I sit down to eat around 8:30am and it already feels good to be off my feet for a minute.  I usually check my email while I eat, but today it’s enough just to keep tabs on Mia, keep the dog from eating food off of the highchair tray, and pick up Mason’s toy for the millionth time.  

9:00 AM

Handsome hubby heads to school with hugs and a wave.  After clearing the table I sit down to nurse while Amelia entertains herself with toys and blankets.

I dress both kids for the day, and Mason looks ready for a nap around 9:30am.  Amelia and I have some one-on-one play time in the living room.  She decides that she would like Mommy to play her Playskool piano for her while she dances.  She makes it quite clear that no intermissions have been scheduled in this performance, and my playing goes on until she’s tired and ready to build block towers.  Not that I mind, her blossoming communication skills and new-found interest in music and dance have been so much fun to watch lately.

10:00 AM

Amelia has “quiet time” alone in her room.  I put her in her crib and give her 6 or so books and a couple of dolls or stuffed animals for company.  Most days she will read quietly for 30-45 minutes.  It’s a welcome break for me and an opportunity to get started on some housework or finish getting myself dressed for the day.   I sit down to check email and Facebook and polish off my coffee, promising myself to not sit for too long.  I still have not done anything with my hair, and this is my ideal time to do it.

10:40 AM

WHAT!?  It’s been half an hour already?  Ugh…. Sucked into internet land again.  I mentally beat myself up a bit for not “using my time more wisely”, but then… it was SO nice to just relax a little.  Oh well, here we go.  Mason is awake and Amelia is ready to get up and play again, too.  Another round of diaper changes, and I lay Mason on my bed with a toy and hand Amelia a toothbrush while I finally tend to the now-frizzy mop of hair on my head.

11:00 AM

Mason is throwing me strangely timed tired signals, so I lay him on my bed for a little peace and quiet.  I sit Amelia in her high chair in the kitchen with crayons and paper while I unload the dishwasher. 

She decided that today crayons make a better snack than artistic medium, so it doesn’t last long.  Mason isn’t falling asleep or settling down, and I begin to feel a bit flustered and frantic.  It’s back to the swing for him while I try to finish in the kitchen.  I swap Amelia’s crayons for playdoh, wipe the wax out of her mouth, then transfer a still fussy Mason to his excersaucer to give him a chance to work out those little leg muscles.

11:30  AM

 Handsome hubby calls to say he’s coming home for lunch today!  I decide to find something more “interesting” to eat since I’ll have company, so I make hot beef and swiss sandwiches with caramelized onions.  Mmmm…     

After lunch Amelia “helps” Daddy play his NCAA football video game and I snag the opportunity to straighten their room and vacuum a little. 

Cleaning is usually a nap time activity for me, but since both kids are awake and I have someone to keep an eye on them I seize the moment.  Then it’s time for stories and a nap for Amelia.

1:00 PM 

I sit down to nurse and snuggle with Mason, and twenty minutes later he’s out.  Amelia however is NOT asleep, yet, and I’m wondering what the problem is.  She typically goes down so easily.  I sit down to check my email and Facebook hoping she’ll settle down and I can have some quiet “Mommy time” before I do the rest of today’s chores.  

2:30 PM

Amelia is drifting in and out of uneasy sleep, so I go in to check on her.  She’s hot and sweaty so I give her Tylenol for her teething, and resettle her in a cooler spot in the crib without the blanket this time. 

2:50 PM

I start some dough for French bread to have with dinner and make a smoothie for myself.   Today is the second day I am trying a “Green Monster” smoothie as an afternoon snack.  Yesterday’s recipe was not-so-hot, so I think I’ll try something different today.  

Now THAT’s more like it!  I clean the kitchen again, finishing up the lunch-time mess from earlier and putting away bread and smoothie ingredients.

3:20 PM

Mason wakes up and I can't resist snapping a few photos of that sweet face!  

I situate him on a blanket with some toys while I do a bit more housework.  There is always something to wash, wipe, or pick up around here and of course I’ve got those two piles to put away!  At 4pm I feed Mason and he goes down for a third nap around 4:30pm.

Amelia wakes up shortly after still fussy and irritable.  I pick her up and set her on my lap in the glider in their room.  She lays her head on my shoulder and we rock in sweet silence for about ten minutes.  I marvel at how simple and yet profound it is to offer motherly comfort simply by holding her close and letting her just be.

4:45 PM

Amelia is feeling more like herself now so we go to the kitchen for a snack and cup of milk.  Brian comes home at 5pm, and having an extra set of hands lets me focus on starting dinner.  A phone call from my momma lifts my spirit, gives me perspective, and helps me charge on a bit more cheerfully with my evening.

6:00 PM

Mason wakes up from his nap.  I change him, cuddle him, and get him situated with a toy or two.  Dinner goes in the oven to bake and I find another moment to sit down and check my email.  Um… ok fine, I mean check Facebook in an attempt to connect with the outside world by seeing what my far away pals are doing today.

7:10 PM

We sit down to dinner as a family.  A little late tonight, but this is one of my favorite parts of the day.  It’s so fun now that both kids are big enough to sit at the table with us.   Mason usually gnaws on rice rusks while the rest of us chow down on “big people” food.  Tonight Amelia gets to practice using a big girl cup.

Daddy makes funny faces and Amelia tries to copy him.

7:40 PM

Time for Amelia’s nightly bedtime ritual.  Bath, jammies, stories, songs, snuggles, and kisses.  Works like a charm every time!  Brian clears the table for me, and helps put dinner things away.  

Mason gets a bath in the kitchen sink, followed by another feeding and goes down around 8:45pm.

9:00 PM

The house is quiet and hubby and I get a little snuggle time in front of the TV.  Around 10:30 or so I get ready for bed and finally call it a day.  The hubs often has homework, so I go to bed alone usually.  It’s been a fairly average up-and-down day and I am wiped out as usual.  

So there you have it!  A day in the life of me.  Every day I have to do a little battle with my perfectionism and try not to feel like not “doing it all” isn’t failure.  I try to squeeze in more love and play than fretting over cleaning, and I don’t always win that one.  It’s a crazy, full life right now for me, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!  Someday when I have time to write more and sew more I’ll miss these crazy days filled with the incessant sound of “mama?”.